blue basilica

~ as if truth were a secret in such low solution that only immensity can give us a sensible taste ~

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Location: Brooklyn, NY, United States

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

touche, spirits. touche.


thursday night on james's twilight roof with some classy headz. some of us were eating some good neopolitan-style square pizza, standing up, as there were no seats. i had picked up a sqaure slice with a nice husk of crust on one side. since i had a beer in my other hand, i attempted to rotate my square with one hand, to nibble some crust before it naturally became the only part left. shocklingly, i dropped the square flat on the floor - cheese-side down, no less. chris, james and jordan, who had been immersed in a conversation about music, promptly looked up at me with faces of sympathetic disappointment, like i was the proverbial dog that peed on the rug. impressively, they managed to hold this expression while having a hearty laugh.

jordan then said something which i consider the best description of my unparalleled klutziness. he said: 'colby, it's like you have these spirits around you at all times, just f*cking with you.' to demonstrate, he came up to my side, and pretended to hump me. we all agreed this was an astute hypothesis, no one moreso than myself. we then delved into the nature of these spirits, which we agreed was to play practical jokes on me my whole life, rather than mess me up in any serious way.

the next night, i was walking with ilana while licking an ice cream cone (mint chip, mutherf*cker), when the scoop of ice cream in the cone popped out and fell flat on the sidewalk. it was quite the comprehensive plop - not a drop of ice cream remained in the cone. while lans cracked the eff up, i related jordan's theory, and she surmised that a spirit had simply placed his finger inside my cone, and given the ball of ice cream a little flick.

on sunday, i was again going over all this with james and jordan, and jordan said that there must be a reason for these spirits to have it in for me in this practical-jokey way. he thought maybe my klutziness might somehow come in handy, to the benefit of everyone. then james said, 'maybe you'll one day clumsily save us all!' which i thought was fantastic.

i am the biggest klutz i know, hands down. and truth be told, it might be hereditary. while my dad is not klutzy, my grandfather, who i call "poppy" and who is still going strong at 94(!) is constantly bumping into things and generally making a racket. for this reason, when i klutz in front of my dad, he likes to call me "poppy junior." anyway, while my extreme lack of grace does put me in mortal fear that one day i'm going to spontaneously fall into the subway tracks and get torn to shreds by a 4 train, i do take no small bit of amusement from it. my physical gaffes really do come off like god is playing practical jokes on me, and so far i'd have to say he has a wicked, creative sense of humor. in reality, as someone who loves to laugh, i am honored to be his jokester sides's medium. my intuitive sense is that he, or the spirits, will look out for me when need be, since i bring them such mindless joy on the regs.

that's how i fill in the blanks.

times

4 Comments:

Blogger Jeannie said...

what a lovely post.
i think klutziness is a blessing in disguise. it give the klutz an ability to laugh at things most people would be angered over. and that's one of the best things about you.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Gina Kay said...

I'll second that Jeannius.

11:11 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

dynamic duo

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am one of those under-the-rock people; I'd love to hear the Billy Preston song you adore.

8:04 AM  

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