happy birthday palm, you beautiful bastard!
in other news, Palm L.O. Hedcatt turns 27 today. it would be hard to communicate how much this dula means to me, so i am not going to try, but will instead pay him homage by copying one of his own brilliant treatises here:
The Heart of Chotchiness
Classy's Dictionary of The English Don defines a chotch as "n., male; a doula or spru; usually with shirt tucked, pants pleated and cuffed, collar buttoned; endowed with a distinct deficit of Class and surplus of self-interest."
You see your garden variety chotch (or chotchette) almost every day. On the subway, reading the Post or possibly The Wall Street Journal. Stopped in the middle of a crowded street, blocking you. Coughing into a sneeze-guard. Going to a Disneyland or world. Most chotches have children that are usually very annoying.
A chotch can never be classy because they do not care about the world. Republicans are chotches. Rudy Giuliani is an enormous chotch. Pataki, chotch. Most chotches are not from New York City with the notable exceptions of Staten Island and the Upper East Side. SoHo is also filled to the brim with chotches, but most of them are from other places. Recently, Williamsburg in Brooklyn has become a true Mecca for chotches. All hipsters are chotches.
Chotches can be any race, religion or creed. They might be drinkers or smokers, they may be promiscuous or they may be chaste.
Famous chotches include Steve from 90210, Jude Law, B.D. Wong from Law & Order and James Van Der Beek.
Anyone holding a Harry Potter book is probably a chotch.
Please do not confuse chotches with nerds, nerds are smart.
Chotches are defined by their consumption habits, their style and the profundity of their self-interest. The entire Bush administration is made up of chotches. A chotch will never know how big of a chotch they are. To know that would make them Classy.
Most importantly, being a chotch is diced. Being diced does not necessarily make you a chotch, but if it happens often enough, chances are you are a chotch.
Keep it Classy -- Please don't be a chotch.
The Heart of Chotchiness
Classy's Dictionary of The English Don defines a chotch as "n., male; a doula or spru; usually with shirt tucked, pants pleated and cuffed, collar buttoned; endowed with a distinct deficit of Class and surplus of self-interest."
You see your garden variety chotch (or chotchette) almost every day. On the subway, reading the Post or possibly The Wall Street Journal. Stopped in the middle of a crowded street, blocking you. Coughing into a sneeze-guard. Going to a Disneyland or world. Most chotches have children that are usually very annoying.
A chotch can never be classy because they do not care about the world. Republicans are chotches. Rudy Giuliani is an enormous chotch. Pataki, chotch. Most chotches are not from New York City with the notable exceptions of Staten Island and the Upper East Side. SoHo is also filled to the brim with chotches, but most of them are from other places. Recently, Williamsburg in Brooklyn has become a true Mecca for chotches. All hipsters are chotches.
Chotches can be any race, religion or creed. They might be drinkers or smokers, they may be promiscuous or they may be chaste.
Famous chotches include Steve from 90210, Jude Law, B.D. Wong from Law & Order and James Van Der Beek.
Anyone holding a Harry Potter book is probably a chotch.
Please do not confuse chotches with nerds, nerds are smart.
Chotches are defined by their consumption habits, their style and the profundity of their self-interest. The entire Bush administration is made up of chotches. A chotch will never know how big of a chotch they are. To know that would make them Classy.
Most importantly, being a chotch is diced. Being diced does not necessarily make you a chotch, but if it happens often enough, chances are you are a chotch.
Keep it Classy -- Please don't be a chotch.
posted by Colby | 1:50 PM
2 Comments:
i prefer to call these people chodes. but chotch is just as good.
using the labels chode, chotch and dula interchangeably will give your vernacular just the spice it needs.
i disagree with gabe's spelling of dula though, as you can see.
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