quote 10.

Here we say that life is a cliff, and you must never turn around and look back when you're climbing. It makes you sick.' The gentle voice went on; finally she lay down again. Still she was convinced that this was the end, that it would not be long before they found her. They would stand her up before a great mirror, saying to her: 'Look!' And she would be obliged to look, and then it would all be over. The dark dream would be shattered; the light of terror would be constant; a merciless beam would be turned upon her; the pain would be unendurable and endless. She lay close against him, shuddering. Shifting his body toward her, he took her tightly in his arms. When she next opened her eyes the room was in darkness.

'You can never refuse a person money to buy light,' said Amar. He struck a match and held it up.

-paul bowles, the sheltering sky

(incidentally - or not - i think ive read that book about ten times by now.)